I recently made a post on social media about the “behind the scenes” thoughts that often transpire in my mind that lead me to writing a poem. It was in 5th grade when I wrote a short story and my teacher encouraged me, basically letting me know that this ability was not necessarily taught, but a gift. Later in my senior year of high school an assignment was to write a 10 page paper on basically anything. I think most did a “book report” of sorts but, I chose to write a 10 page paper on a made up silly story which I have no idea what it was about, but there was a character named Wheezy. My teacher admitted she didn’t really like the story, but she was impressed I kept the flow of the story for ten pages.
I tell all of that to lead up to after I was out of high school in 1990 that is when I became a Christian and I once heard something that to me sounded like a “good title” for a poem so I told someone they should write a poem with that title and then she challenged me to do it and since then I have been writing poetry. For a couple of years I kept them in a folder under my bed and no one ever knew I had written them. Nine years after that I was writing columns for The Outlook and have been blessed to continue writing for The Wayne Weekly. However, my “day job” is being a counselor for going on 30 years now and over this time I have heard lots of sad, angry, terrifying, disturbing, anxious, grief ridden, rock bottom, often substance use caused traumas.
At the 20 year mark of being a counselor I mistakenly had told someone that there was basically nothing that I hadn’t heard and then the next newest client came in and blew my mind of what she had been through, so I don’t say that anymore. A little over a week ago a younger client asked me if my job was simple. I explained “not physically, because I sit all day, but mentally it can be heavy.” One way through the years I deal with the “heaviness” of my being a counselor is through writing. Two of the quotes in the poem below are from statements I heard that day in a session and later that evening, Peace In The Distance came out:
“Nothing truly numbs the pain away” though God knows I’ve tried almost everyday. “I’m drowning and not even under water,” but it’s so hard to breathe…feeling stuck trapped underneath. Thoughts that consume my mind. Thoughts I wish I could just leave behind. Memories that haunt me. My mind can’t seem to break free. I know of all the things done. The things that make me still want to run… were not my fault. Yet, still it has caused my life to halt. Stuck in a place I do not want to be. Longing with each heartache to truly be free. Seeking for an answer I may never get. Peace in the distance that I still haven’t met. Reaching for a place I can experience the pain. Knowing that what I’ve been through will not be in vain. (10/9/26)
~trs 10/18/26
