It was a while back in another time and another place when a young woman being the oldest gained the responsibility of solely taking care of all the siblings, plus waiting on her father after her mother died. At fifteen she was no longer in school. At sixteen she began looking for a way out. At seventeen she met a rebel who promised to deliver her from the bondage her life had become. At eighteen she had handed over the responsibility to the next eldest girl and she was married with a child and a new set of responsibilities. Her husband, the rebel, had lessened the load a little and he often reminded her of that. However, within a few years she had two children and an alcoholic rebel to care for. Times were tough, but she managed to make the most of it as best she could.
Some years passed and she had become a widow. She never dreamed she would be a widow so early in her life, and the life the rebel had promised her he was never able to deliver. It’s not that he was a very bad person, but his habits were hard to break. Actually, his habits had broken him and his family. Being a widow with two teens was no easy task either. If the road wasn’t a hard one many times she thought she was on the wrong one. Her son, the eldest of the siblings, unfortunately began to follow in his father’s footsteps. Many times she had bailed him out of trouble. She began to believe that it must be her gift to help “save” her family from hard times. Never realizing that her help oftentimes just enabled her family to continue going down the wrong paths of life.
Being responsible is an important quality for all to have but it was demanded of her from an early age to take on more than her share. Therefore, she came to believe that she had to be responsible for practically everyone. This belief had turned her hair grayer way before her time. Plus, her children then were never able to suffer the consequences of their wrong actions. Her children never learned to take responsibility for the choices they made.
Her daughter had it easy compared to her when she was her age. However, at sixteen her daughter already found her way out. Her mom didn’t hear from her for nine months and then her daughter came back and she had become a grandmother. Grandmother was now busy filling her day with the responsibility of raising another baby. Raising a child was very different now than when she was younger. Her daughter didn’t feel the great weight of responsibility of raising a child, because Grandmother did everything. Therefore, over the next few years her daughter had two more children by different men.
The fathers of the children lacked just as much responsibility as the mother, but Grandmother kept enabling them to be that way. Eventually the daughter met another man and moved away leaving her three children in the care of the one who had been caring for them anyway and the cycle continued. Cycles continue when no change happens. Allow God to transform what our choices can’t seem to change.
Originally written 24 years ago. ~ TRS
Rays of Hope 