Obedience is the act of being obedient, which is being compliant to the requests or commands of authority. Lack of consistent discipline is one of the main reasons for disobedience. Therefore, for a parent / caregiver to raise an obedient child they will have to have consistent discipline. No means no every time and after a couple of warnings there has to be a consequence every time.
Having worked with children and teens over the past 20 years I have many times heard from children that “rules suck.” They will often make comments of wishing they were already 18 years old so they wouldn’t have to follow any rules. I try to quickly point out to the kids that most true rules don’t begin until you are 18 and out on your own. Adults have to follow, or be obedient to just as many rules as children. Everyone has someone they have to be obedient to even though that doesn’t mean that everyone will be.
No matter how powerful or wealthy a person is someone will make that person be held accountable to being obedient to certain standards. As can be seen in the movies even the mob of organized criminals have their own rules they have to be obedient to, or else. This goes to show that people of all ages can be or are obedient to various forms of authority. It appears it is the person’s choice of who they want to be their authority and that is who they decide to follow and submit to.
For whatever reasons it seems that many parents are scared to discipline their children. I’ve heard some say, “my kids told me if I spank them they will call the local social services” and there are probably many other reasons of why some parents refuse to discipline. Maybe as a child they never received any themselves, or their parents were so strict they decide to never be that strict on their kids. The point is if a child has not learned to be obedient and follow the rules, the parent of that child has done them great emotional, mental, and even spiritual harm.
I once read about the “Seven greatest mistakes parents can make.” Of the seven the author had mentioned one great mistake is a parent believing they can be best friends with their child. Parents and children were never meant to be best friends, at least until that child is an adult and then some of the relationship dynamics can change. Also it is never fair for a child of any age to be asked to take sides of one or the other parent.
Children need discipline and need to be taught and shown what obedience is. If no one ever learned to be obedient and follow the rules the world would definitely be a chaotic and hopeless place. Some reasons of why there are so many disobedient youth is that many adults are disobedient to two commands. One is to love God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength and secondly to love your neighbor and treat everyone as you would want to be treated yourself. Dr. Laurence J. Peter developed a concept called, “the Peter principle,” which mainly points out that anyone who strives for success only to find their achievement crumble about them has never learned that true power and success only comes when we surrender our lives in obedience to God.
Originally written 7-14-99.
TRS
Rays of Hope 