Narcissism according to Webster’s dictionary is undue dwelling on one’s own self or attainments. In Greek mythology there was once a beautiful youth who was punished because of the love of his own image and was therefore transformed into the narcissus plant. For some who may not be familiar with psychology or counseling may not know that there is actually a mental disorder according to the diagnostic and statistical manual mental disorders (DSM) called, narcissistic personality disorder. This disorder is characterized by having a very exaggerated sense of self-worth and self-importance. A person with this disorder will frequently discuss his or her importance and call attention to and magnify the value of themselves and/or their accomplishments.
Usually this person rarely would feel any empathy or care about any other person than themselves. They also believe that they are entitled to things that others are not, take advantage of others, and are preoccupied with feelings of envy.
We are commaned to love God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength and to love our neighbor as we would love our self. We just do not need to love ourselves to the point of a narcissism, because then it would not be true love but more of pride and we know that those who are full of pride are truly empty of a lot.
However, there are those who are quite opposite of the narcissist and they don’t even like themselves and sure do not love themselves at all. The point of this article when it was written 20 years ago was to help someone see that even though life may not always be fair and that sometimes bad things do happen even to “good people,” if we have a positive self-image we will be more likely to handle simple to complex problems with more ease.
When people love themselves they will be more apt at accomplishing goals to be proud of, as well as have a love for others offering them kindness and hope. Following is a poem I wrote in August of 1995:
As you grow up through the years you wonder why certain things happened, and as you felt the sorrow and hurt they brought, you could tell your life was being dampened. You often wondered if anyone else on earth ever knew of your pain. You wondered if your circumstances were ever going to change.
Here you sit amongst the filth and the grime. Amongst the pearls and the swine, wondering if the thing you are searching for you will ever find. You have cried and cried until you feel that you have no more tears. All that you are left with are your hopes and your fears. How could life be so unkind to leave me here cold and unloved, sinking behind. I try my best every day to grovel to the surface. Trying to find at least one in whom I can place my trust. Where? Where on Earth can that one be found? Shh!
Be quiet and listen. Please don’t make a sound. I think I see the one who can start to make things clearer, or is that just my reflection in the mirror.
Reflections… Reflections.
I can look back on my life and see the hurt, the pain, and the misery. I can now see where I went wrong, as I was trying to find out where I belong. But, the true love I searched for was in me all along. As I looked deep within beyond the poverty and wealth I could finally see that all I had to do was learn to love myself.
Article Originally written July 7, 1999
-TRS
Rays of Hope 