Morality is having a moral quality or character. It means being virtuous and having a moral conduct. For the past 20 years I have worked with youth through counseling and as a youth minister but I honestly cannot remember what group of kids I asked these following questions to 20 years ago, but I do know that they ranged in ages from 5 to 15 years old. I asked the following questions: what are morals? Where do they come from? Does everyone have them? Do you look up to those who have none? Once I asked the questions I began getting answers of the opposite of what the kids believe morality is.
Kids began telling what they thought were immoral. Following is a list of things that these children believe are immoral: killing, lying, cheating, stealing, hurting others, adultery, being disrespectful, and not listening to authority. I do remember joking with the group that if the last one was true “not listening” then I had several immoral people in my group.
When I attempted to get the kids to explain to me what morality is they replied, “it’s the opposite of all the things we just said.” The oldest member of the group who was attempting to be a role model for the younger ones spoke up and stated, “morals are the standards we live by.” One spoke up and added, “being moral is like always doing right over wrong.” Another challenged, “what is right for some may be considered wrong by others.” This led into the discussion of where do morals come from.
A couple believe that we are born with the ability to know right from wrong and therefore can choose to be moral. Most agreed that morals are taught by parents or caregivers and can be greatly influenced by our peers and society. One young person gave an example of how if a child was brought up in a family where stealing was taught to each generation that probably each generation that grew up would never really think that stealing is wrong.
Dr. James Dobson has a booklet entitled, Values in the home which has the statement, “values can be transmitted from one generation to the next. All mothers and fathers know it is their responsibility to teach their beliefs and concepts to their children, but unfortunately this is usually approached in a hap- hazard and casual manner.” Author James Gibson, PhD believes that integrity is a character trait far more common in today’s world than we know. He wrote, “We hear so often of dishonesty, philandering, cheating, and lying in all our modern institutions it’s understandable if we think that integrity is going the way of the buggy whip.”
Gibson continues to define integrity as a “source of immense spiritual and emotional strength that can be a powerful healing force in our lives, even if it causes us inconvenience for a time. To give up our integrity is to risk our spiritual and psychological lives.”
Most of the group agreed that they would never look up to any person with an immoral character. I asked the group to share who they look up to and believe are good role models. It was interesting that none of them mentioned their parents, but it seems normal for kids their ages not to mention their parents. Most of them told of teenagers they now know who are “cool, but never get into any real big trouble.” One girls comment I found interesting, “if people wanted to be moral they could follow the example of Jesus.”
May we choose to live a moral and virtuous life and let our integrity be Rays of Hope for future generations.
Originally written 6-16-99 TRS
Rays of Hope 