Loneliness is a feeling of being all alone. It can come from being isolated from others however the worst form of loneliness is when you are in a crowd of people and yet still feel all alone. Along with feeling lonely often there is the emotion of sadness that goes along with it. To feel lonesome means for one to be sad from lack of companionship or separation from others.
In his book, Killing Giants –Pulling Thorns, author Charles Swindoll wrote about loneliness, saying “it plays no favorites, ignores all rules of courtesy, knows neither border no barrier, yields no mercy…crowds make it worse, activity simply drives at deeper. Silent and destructive as a flooding river in the night loneliness, that uninvited guest of the soul, arrives at dusk and stays for dinner.”
People who are in the midst of this feeling of desolation usually long for someone to be companions with. Many times if this companionship is not found the loneliness turns into depression. A lonely person typically has a very negative self-image and feelings of worthlessness. They have such thoughts as if no one wants to be my friend then I must be no good. Swindoll wrote that the pain of loneliness was so sharp that some are willing to try anything for half an hour of companionship and were willing to pay a stranger money for 30 minutes for their undivided attention. There have been some who have done studies on loneliness and will keep themselves away from any human contact for a long period of time only to hunger and desire some form of human contact.
Back in the 13th century King Frederick in Germany had a study done with infants trying to determine what language they would speak if never spoken to. So he had gathered all the newborn babies and had nurses to care for the basic needs but they were never to touch them or speak to them. Unfortunately all the babies died. A study by the American council of life insurance reported (20 years ago when this article was first written) that the loneliest group they found to be was college students. After that group the list included those going through divorce, the poor, single parents, students in rural areas, housewives, and the elderly were those who are more prone to suffer from loneliness. Also those who suffer greatly from loneliness are those who tend to be left out on purpose by others. It is unfortunate that things do not seem to change in this area as time progresses. Each generation there’s the in-group and the out-group. Cliques that are popular and those who the cliques don’t associate with. Those who tend not to fit in are often put down, talked about, made fun of, and shunned. This can lead those who already feel lonely to believing that their existence it’s not necessary.
There will be times when everyone will feel a little lonely, but the world is populated enough that no one should ever really feel the prolonged pangs of loneliness. Everyone at times needs a certain amount of human contact. It is very difficult for those suffering from loneliness to be the ones to bring themselves out of it. They need someone to lower the rope down into the pit of loneliness where they long to be delivered from. If you know someone who is lonely say a kind word or do a good deed to them to offer them a Ray of Hope. Let them know that they are loved and cared about and that their life does have meaning and others can be blessed by what they have to offer.
Originally written 5-26-99
TRS
Rays of Hope 