Before I start this article I have to be honest and tell that it was supposed to be about the negative effects of “giving in” to your children, which was the next article I had written in the Articles of the alphabet series. However, since last week I have been unable to find my only copy of that article so I went through some of my other writings and found one from 2001 from my stories of fiction series called, Giving Grace. Within some of my stories of fiction I “tell stories” of people who write into me and I give a response to their questions. This was my first time doing this.
Have you ever had one of those days when you wonder what is wrong with people? I need some advice about what to do when someone has done me wrong. –Grace
Dear Grace,
When you wrote me I take it that you are trusting my judgment and this is to let you know that my judgment is based upon my beliefs, opinions, knowledge, and wisdom. I guess you believe as I, that no one is perfect and all make mistakes at times, but hopefully people can learn from past mistakes and grow into a better person. However, when you know of people who keep having the same problems and issues over and over even though help is offered it can be disheartening.
Some problems are lifelong struggles that people have to learn to deal and cope with and not only the person having the problem, but friends and loved ones as well have to learn to deal with it. This could truly be a test of just how much you love someone. I don’t know exactly what “wrong” has been done to you, but anytime we are done wrong it’s not right. It can be hard to understand of how some people can continue to live and prosper while doing wrong to others. It seems at times that others commit crimes, lie, cheat, and fight, yet never suffer a consequence.
The sad thing is that when others do wrong to us we feel the effects of what they have done and it tends to make us angry. It is okay to be angry as long as we don’t in turn do something wrong or give in to something we will later regret. Do all that you can to hold your tongue when you are angry, not to say something you will regret and do not make hasty decisions out of anger. If you do the probability for the situation to worsen is higher.
When someone has done us wrong it is often hard to think of forgiving that person, but that is what needs to be done for your own sake. Unforgiveness usually leads to bitterness and research has shown a link between bitterness and emotional health problems. Therefore, not forgiving someone who has done you wrong in the long run causes you more problems.
This doesn’t mean to say that if someone has wronged you that they should escape a consequence of what they have done. If there are legal consequences then do what you have to do to see that the legal process is taken on this person. Unfortunately, there are people who never think of the consequences they may suffer if they do or say a particular thing. Often this stems from parents who never allow their children to suffer the consequences for the wrong behavior. If you are a parent of a child of any age it would be wise to allow that child to suffer the consequences of anything they do that is wrong.
If a parent bails a child out every time they are in some kind of trouble that child will tend to always believe they can do whatever and get out of it. Children like that tend to be the future inmates of America. When someone has done you wrong let the natural consequences of their actions eventually unfold. Believe in the saying about people reaping what they sow.
We are to pray for those who persecute us. By doing this we may be our enemies (those who do us wrong) only hope of ever changing. Just remember one of the definitions of your name, Grace…it means and undeserved forgiveness, kindness, and mercy that God gives. May this bit of advice bring a ray of hope to situations where you’ve been done wrong.
Originally written 2/21/01.
-TRS
Rays of Hope 