Family violence has been around since the first family. This is not in reference to any President’s families, but all our ancestor’s son of Adam and Eve, Cain who killed his brother Abel. According to the Governor’s office of child abuse and domestic violence services (GOCADVS) over the past two decades there has been a shocking awareness of widespread abuse within American families.
Reports from the FBI have shown that violence within families has been the country’s most prevalent or widely accepted violent crime and it is also one of the least reported crimes. Research done in 1990 by Straus and Gelles indicated at that time almost 6 million women experience some form of abuse each year.
Unfortunately, for victims and society in general many people have the mentality that if violence happens within a family that is the family’s issues and perpetrators somehow have a right to be that way within their own family.
Domestic violence knows no boundaries. There are some doctors, lawyers, police officers, teachers, ministers, factory workers, and welfare recipients who all are perpetrators of violence on their families or significant other.
Another common misconception is that spouse abuse has no effect on the children. One former study from 1980 revealed that children who witness abuse are three times more likely to engage in violent behavior with a future spouse. The victim and the children will live in constant fear and uncertainty which is what the abuser wants to keep control over the situation.
The definition of domestic violence according to GOCADVS is the chronic physical, sexual, and psychological maltreatment of one family member by another with the intent to control. This misuse of power harms the psychological, social, economic, sexual, and physical well-being of the victim.
The victim of abuse is never to blame or at fault. Nothing they say or do is what causes the abuse, even though often this is what the abuser tells the victim as they promise it will never happen again. However, as soon as the abuser which can be either, a male or female, feels the need to show their power and control abuse will happen again and again. A cycle of domestic violence needs to be brought to an end.
If the perpetrator never seeks help and truly changes his or her behavior of violence it will be left up to the survivors of the abuse to develop a safety plan which can be done by local abuse shelter agency. Once when I was in college the professor was teaching on the subject of domestic violence and quoted Romans 3:20 which states “through the law we become conscious of sin.” She went on to explain that many times it takes the abuser being arrested to realize they are doing wrong. Unfortunately, even this does not always open their eyes and cause them to feel any remorse for what they have done, because they always tend to blame the victim and do not take responsibility for their own actions.
It can be very difficult for people trapped in an abusive situation to escape. Often the risk of leaving is even serious physical injury or death and this is why it is very important to have a safety plan in place. Many times the victim has been “beaten down” to the point of hopelessness. Therefore, the hope of this family may rely on an outsider who either knows or suspects abuse is occurring. By a simple act of compassion and one phone call one could save someone else’s life and give that person a new hope for life.
Originally written February 1999-TRS
Rays of Hope 